The True Hero

Christmas 1976 (Left to right: Eugene, Wayne, Scott, Eldon, Curious George , Roger, Brian, Keith, Ronald)

The Amazing Adventures of Curious George

Part 1: “The True Hero” (26 July 2019)

Hi Greenwood Kids, I am Curious George. I am blowing my “stuffed animal” cover and infiltrating your father’s blog to bring you an extremely important message of injustice and extreme oversight. Your father’s farm stories, while somewhat amusing, lack any depth of understanding. But even more concerning, they do not recognize the true hero of each of the stories… me (Curious George). 

Me (Curious George) convincing Megan to take me to Colorado so I could infiltrate your father’s blog!

Do not fear dear children, for I will at length release your father.  I will allow him once again to express his simple and mundane farm stories, but only after my story, the true farm story that heralds the true hero (once again, that is me), is told.

It all started on December 25th, 1976 when I joined your father in the farm house on Ivins Road. Until I arrived, all was in disarray on the farm and in the Greenwood household as evidenced by the picture below. For example, look at your father. He was extremely glum- he could barely lift up his head, was slobbering all over his mom, and would not even look at the camera. It seemed there was nothing that could cheer him up.  And that was just the start, Keith had tooth issues, Ronald’s collar was too large, and my most serious concern was that at least four of those boys had un-tucked shirts! This was a catastrophe waiting to happen! Can you imagine how horrible life would have been without me?

Greenwood Family, 1976 (Left to right: Brian, Lynn, Mariet, Roger, Eldon, Keith, Eugene, Wayne, Scott, Ronald)

Thankfully I came along just in time.   As you can see in this picture, your dad is already starting to feel a bit better.

Curious George and Your Father

You may be wondering just how (besides teaching those boys how to tuck in their shirts) I was able to help on the farm.  It’s actually hard for me to know where to start, because the truth is, almost every good thing that happened on the farm, happened because of yours truly (the one and only Curious George)!  For example, that day that five cows jumped into the manure pit… I gave those boys a good hour to try and fish those cows out. However, when I realized that without my assistance, at least one cow would suffer an awful manure-pit drowning, I came to the rescue.  And then there was the time they tried to sell a “sick” cow to the slaughterhouse… luckily I knew that cow was going to get better so I stepped in to keep it around.  

My list of accomplishments goes on and on, but today I will just mention one. It goes back to the mid 1980s, when your dad was about ten years old. Several of his older brothers had gone off to Brigham Young University and to serve as missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As they returned from serving as missionaries, a remarkable thing started to happen, they started bringing strange creatures home to visit… creatures called girls! The Greenwood boys obviously did not know what to do, but luckily I was there to put together a plan to help them understand these strange creatures.

April, Curious George, and Sydney (see how cool and collected I am around girls?)

This comprehensive reconnaissance mission started the moment the older brothers drove drove down the long lane leading to the house with girls in tow. I staked your dad and his brothers inconspicuously gaping directly out the front window to gather immediate details. They then stood around shuffling and muttering hellos and their names as introductions were made.

But it didn’t end there, as you may remember, the farmhouse had a master bedroom and two kid bedrooms that had doors leading right into the family room. When girls would visit they were given the small bedroom. So I made sure that your dad and his brothers tiptoed past that bedroom door time and time again, just in case someone might emerge. I can only imagine that the girls in the small bedroom behind that door were SO excited to come out to a dozen or so staring eyes! When they did emerge, and for the entire time they spent on the farm, I made sure to have at least one, but preferably 3 or 4 boys tagging along, not to engage in meaningful conversation mind you, but just to make sure that all was right in the world of girls. 

And then of course there is the fact that there was only one bathroom in the house, and that one bathroom had a tub, but no shower. We soon learned that when girls visited we had to plan who would bathe, and when, in order to get everyone to church or other activities on time. Sometimes the boys would get in their shorts and drive to the barn to “shower” using the four hoses hanging in the barn, but I didn’t let them do that when girls were visiting. I insisted they act proper!

Whether these girls wanted to leave the small bedroom or not, they would at length have to make the trek to the bathroom. I understand Sydney and Kelsey had a great time their trek this week, hiking 15 miles in one day while pulling a handcart! That is pretty impressive, but I think the 15-yard trek past the prying eyes of a handful of Greenwood kids from the bedroom to the bathroom may have been just as difficult, or at least would have been if I, Curious George, had not been there to make it a pleasant experience. I am sure it must have been pleasant, how else could those Greenwood boys have convinced girls to marry them? Sometime you might just ask your Aunts (Mem, Paige, Jennifer , or Patti) how wonderful these visits were. I am sure they will confirm my every word.

We changed some farm routines when visitors came. For example, a typical breakfast consisted of an egg, milk, toast with jam or honey, half an orange, and hot crushed wheat cereal. However, your grandparents soon learned that visitors did not always appreciate this breakfast, so I (Curious George) convinced them to start buying delicious cold cereal for these visits. Your dad really liked that, especially if it was LIFE, his favorite cold cereal. As a side note, you should try LIFE a little mushy sometime… I hear it’s delicious! 

Marci Forsberg and Roger Greenwood, May 1995 

As time went on I taught your dad more and more about girls, so he was never awkward or clumsy around them like a typical teenage boy. Others might say differently, in fact everyone else might say differently, but I (the one and only Curious George) know the truth.  How else could he grow up to convince the kindest and most beautiful female on the planet to marry him? It is only because of my patient tutoring and guidance that he was able to accomplish such a feat. Of the many things I taught him, two are highlighted in the above picture: his non-awkwardness around girls… and his shirt is tucked in… need I say more?! 

Have a great week kids! Oh, and your father sends his love. He wants you to know that he is well enough off.

Never fear, I am here!

Curious George (did I mention that I am the real hero of ALL your dad’s stories?)